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Heralded by the New York Times and Time magazine as the couple therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world.
In Hold me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from Recognizing the Demon Dialogue to Revisiting a Rocky Moment-and uses them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations. Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.
- Hardcover: 300 pages
- Publisher: Little, Brown and Company; 1st edition (April 8, 2008)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 031611300X
- ISBN-13: 978-0316113007
- Product Dimensions: 6.5 x 1.2 x 9.6 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
Reading this book literally saved our 26-year marriage.
This book saved our marriage. Seriously, a counselor could only give us the typical tools like “I statements,” forgiveness, etc. but it wasn’t helping. This book taught us to focus on the emotions we were expressing in a way that we gave each other love instead of pouring salt on our wounds. Now, we are in a renaissance, of sorts, very happy and treating each other with the love we need, like when we were newliweds, only better because of our history and experience. Very highly recommended.
I was skeptical at first when a colleague recommended this book
I was skeptical at first when a colleague recommended this book. After all, there are so many approaches out there. What could be so transformative about this one? But I must say that this book has completely revolutionized how I think about doing couples therapy, as well as about my own relationships. Communication skills or digging through childhood wounds, while often relevant, just never seemed to quite be enough to help couples. This book teaches you to understand that most arguments, no matter their content, are really protests about disconnection. I highly recommend this perspective to everyone. It might just save your relationship.
I saw myself and my husband in these stories. I cried reading these, and when he came home, I had the courage to talk about what I need, giving him the strength to talk about his needs.
"HOLD ME TIGHT" — A Guide to Fulfilling Modern Relationships
This is a wonderful book my husband and I are using as a guidebook in marriage counseling sessions. Our therapist chose it for its modern, nonjudgmental approach to partners. Honesty, sometimes painful, is the strength of your partnership.
Should be required reading
This book details why and how our attachment needs for closeness and safety affect our romantic relationship. As humans, we need this emotional closeness, it forms a deep and intrinsic need in everyone. Too often we operate from a place of blindness and in doing so can get trapped in negative interaction spirals. Pulling ourselves and our relationships out of that spiral is a gift of immense proportions. Read the book 🙂
Helped me see my own patterns and more importantly helped me see my husband with more compassion and grace.
Great relationship book but not the most practical
The ideas in the book seem exactly on target, and the book is well-written. My only criticism is that I think it doesn’t really work as a “how to” guide. The conversations involved seem too tricky and open–that to undertake on your own when a relationship is already in a difficult stage. It feels like you still need a trained therapist to lean on, at least at the start.
Our marriage counselor recommended this book to us
Our marriage counselor recommended this book to us, and it has been amazing to read this together, as well as eye opening. It has definitely helped us to understand each other better, and I think it’s even improved our parenting actually. We’ve already recommended it to several of our friends, and I recommend it to anyone and everyone, regardless of the state of your relationship.
One of the best books on love and relationships I ever read
This book enlightens and makes sense of so many patterns of behavior, hands down one of the best books I’ve ever read. No matter where you are; whether in love, out of love, never planning to love or always in love, or failing at love or securely in love, it will shed a flood light on this human experience of love that we all share!
Save your Relationship
Read this book before her other book “Love Sense”. This is the beginning of EFT (emotionally Focused Therapy) It can save your relationship in 85% of the cases. We highly recommend this book and the second one as well.