• Real Parents Real Children Parenting the Adopted Child
  • Real Parents Real Children Parenting the Adopted Child
  • Real Parents Real Children Parenting the Adopted Child
  • Real Parents Real Children Parenting the Adopted Child
  • Real Parents Real Children Parenting the Adopted Child
  • Real Parents Real Children Parenting the Adopted Child
  • Real Parents Real Children Parenting the Adopted Child
  • Real Parents Real Children Parenting the Adopted Child
  • Real Parents Real Children Parenting the Adopted Child
  • Real Parents Real Children Parenting the Adopted Child
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Rating: 
Amazon Price: $24.95 $19.97 You save: $4.98 (20%). (as of August 17, 2017 1:31 pm – Details). Product prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on the Amazon site at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.

Required reading for adoptive families, those considering adoption, or professionals in the field. This practical, informative book covers topics of vital importance to adoptive parents with sensitivity and insight. The authors bring years of experience to the complex emotional issues that parents will negotiate, and expert advice on establishing a healthy, loving parent-child relationship.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: The Crossroad Publishing Company; 1 edition (September 1, 1995)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0824515145
  • ISBN-13: 978-0824515140
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.8 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds

Customer Reviews

Great book Love the author as she is one of …

One person found this helpful.
 on April 16, 2016
By Jennifer MacCormick
Great book Love the author as she is one of my mentors who has made a difference in many lives. I trust her with my child’s life.

Excellent Reading

 on August 2, 2009
By Karbear2678
I recommend this book to ANYONE who is looking into adoption. This book gives great information what what it truly is like to adopt. Happy reading!

Super!

13 people found this helpful.
 on March 19, 2002
Not only is this a fantastic resource for adoptive parents, but an incredible review of normal childhood development and the grieving process. The authors address all scenerios for adoption (foreign, domestic, cross-cultural, from infancy and beyond, from foster care, etc.) in a clear and informative way. The research into this book must have been phenomenal. Recommended reading for parents well into the process as well as prospective parents. It’s both honest and hopeful. Bravo!

Adoption

 on June 28, 2008
By SKI
A good book to read for those who are thinking about of have already adopted a child.

I do not recommend this book

 on April 25, 2016
By Kelly
Required reading for adoptive families, those considering adoption or professionals in the field. This practical, informative book: Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child by Holly Van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb covers many topics of vital importance to adoptive parents with sensitivity and insight. The authors bring years of experience to the complex emotional issues that parents will negotiate, and expert advice on establishing a healthy, loving parent-child relationship.

Very helpful book on many adoption fronts

19 people found this helpful.
 on September 10, 2003
By Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald
Gulden and Bartels-Rabb cover a large number of issues that adoptive parents would greatly benefit knowing about, even if some don’t apply to their personal situation, such as adoption of an older child and the consequent issue of bonding and attachment and re-naming the child. Also, the book offers a great bibliography. I could identify with several points brought up. Preplacement and postplacement stress (and joy!) is one issue I can still vividly remember. Also the fact that parenting adopted children is, in fact, different from parenting birth children. In our case, I found this to be especially true during the first year of our daughter’s life when nature had not prepared me for the arrival of a child. Our daughter was four days old and loved around the clock. However, I found that the difference between her and our two birth children lasted only as long as the milk flowed. After that, I saw three unique individuals, and as the years went by, the issue of adoption was no more a household word than the issue of biological birth. We spoke lovingly of her birthmother and brought her up at special events, yet our daughter, very easy-going in temperament, never seemed to suffer an identity crisis or later, an interest in searching. When her birthmother appeared 29 years later, she began a cordial relationship with her but claims that the reunion has not made her whole while before she was fragmented. She had merely made a new friend. Perhaps our daughter was like the little eleven-year old boy quoted by Gulden and Bartels-Rabb: “You know all those things you’ve been saying about my birth parents? Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that those poor suckers lost a good thing.” It would be nice if all adopted kids felt as confident, but that’s sadly not true.

Indispensable help for anyone adopting an older child…

19 people found this helpful.
 on November 28, 2004
By JB in MN
I almost did not buy this book after reading a review that it was “too clinical.” Thank heaven I went for it anyway. It was SO interesting and SO helpful, it has inspired me to write my first book review here on Amazon. I have read every book I can get my hands on since I adopted a 4-year-old from another country and this was by far the most useful to me. While it also covers adoption of infants and domestic adoption, Van Gulden delves deeply into adoption of older (more than a year old), international/interracial children and the issues they face. I especially like how – after each chapter – she gives a list of other resources/books to consult for more information. There are great suggestions of children’s books that will help you approach most any difficult topic that can – and will – come up with your new child. I am back here shopping for more copies tonight – get a copy for grandma/grandpa and anyone else close to you who may need a little education on the unique intricacies of adopting an older child from another culture or race. I am so grateful to have found this book and highly recommend it. Adoption is one of life’s richest blessings – and most worthy challenges. This book will help you appreciate and cope and know that you are not alone.

Why didn’t someone clue me in about this book sooner?

4 people found this helpful.
 on September 9, 2008
By Real Mommy
As an adoptive parent and an adoption and foster care professional, it is hard for me to believe that I didn’t find out about this wonderful book years ago! The information on the child development, and how it is impacted by adoption is excellent. The information on how adoption impacts family dynamics is invaluable in helping adoptive parents and professionals understand the changes that are occurring for adoptive parents as the journey of adoption proceeds. I wish that I had known some of this information as I was struggling with the changes that adoption was making in me. The book normalized my experience and I would recommend it to anyone who is adopting or thinking about adopting. It reads a bit like a text book, and so might seem bookish for anyone who has not parented, but anyone engaged in parenting, biological, adopted or foster children would benefit from reading this book! (PS I was so impressed with this book that I am taking the time to write these comments… a first for me after at least 10 years of buying books from Amazon.com.)

Real Authors with Real Great Advice!

62 people found this helpful.
 on August 4, 2000
Real Parents, Real Children has been one of the most helpful books I have read on adoption, and as an adoption social worker – I have read quite a few! What I enjoyed most about this book was the in-depth look Holly Van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb took at each developmental stage in a child’s life. After learning what all children go through at a particular stage, Van Gulden and Bartels-Rabb then discuss issues that may arise in each stage as related to adotpion. This book is a great resource for adoptive parents to determine if their child’s behavior is due to their developmental stage or and adoption issue that needs to be resolved. Van Gulden and Bartels-Rabb do not end there! They go on to give practical advice on how to help your child through a tough issue. I appreciate this books honest and professional flavor. I recommend this book to all adoptive parents as a resource that can be used for many years. The earlier adoption related issues can be dicovered and worked through, the better for the child and the family. Two other books I highly recommend are “Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew” and “Making Sense of Adoption”